Am afraid l haven't done my blog for a while as l was at Doncaster last week buying horses. It was a very difficult market and l only ended up with one but he looks a nice type and he is for The 25 Club so l hope he's decent! We had a very good stag day for Paul Fitzsimmons last week which was fairly exhausting! We played 18 holes of golf in the morning, followed by lunch then a 30 lap race in go karts followed by a very good dinner at The Harrow. Quite a day! Managed to fall off and cracked a rib which has been quite painful especially when laughing or sitting in the car. Most of the horses are out in the field and we are getting all the boxes steam cleaned and painted ready for them to come back in July. We haven't had many runners lately as most of them are out but we ran Ocean Jive yesterday and he won having his first run over hurdles and beating the odds on favourite. It keeps our strike rate up to 50% which makes everyone happy. My sister Victoria came to stay and she and Kate went to Chelsea Flower Show on Friday and had a wonderful time. We all went to Eton Dorny on Sunday which is an Olympic venue for rowing and my daughter Tildie was taking part in a four. She was in a race of 8 boats and her boat won which we were terribly excited about and all jumping up and down. We spoke to her coach after who was very laid back about it and said of course they were odds on shots so l explained to him about a winners a winner especially when your daughters in the boat! We now have three very nice horses in The 25 Club and may buy the last one at Cheltenham on Thursday to make it up to the four. There are one or two more shares available so get in touch to avoid disappointment. The bed shook, creaked and rattled as she gripped the headboard and screamed out my name. At this point we were asked to leave Debenhams!

We had a very good weekend runners wise with Pickamix winning nicely at Market Rasen on Friday and then Royals And Rebels dotting up at Plumpton on Sunday. We have a strike rate of 60% so far this season so long may it last!
I have spent most of the week filling in holes on my lawn that have been dug up by badgers which is really becoming quite hard work.Luckily there is a house being built down the road which I am getting quite a lot of topsoil to fill in all these holes they are digging up.I could do without it though!
We went to Royal Windsor Horse Show on Saturday which is my favourite show of the year as you see all the best show jumpers from around the world competing for big prize money..I am very friendly with one of them called Guy Williams who when I met up with him asked me if I would take a horse for him to get it fit for The Hickstead Derby.So Zac arrived on Monday and he is a monster as he is 18hh,grey and it takes about five minutes to get on him as he is so tall.But he is an absolute gentleman and I adore riding him so we must do some work with him and get him ready for his big day
We only have five horses left in and hope to run Gowanauthat at the weekend then its Doncaster Sales next week were I am going to buy some new recruits for next season.
I accidently mixed up my Viagra with my hearing aid.Now I've got a hard of hearing on.!

We have turned a lot of horses out in the field for their holidays and the stables are even more empty than normal. The sales are coming up and l hope to buy a few more inmates for the new season which is very similar to a football club getting new players to boost their squad. Talking of which being a Newcastle United fan as l am we have not only been promoted but have also won the Championship. Our manager Rafa wants to have £100 million to strengthen the squad so as to be competitive in the Premiership which l hope he gets as we receive £200 million for going up! While l don't need quite that amount of money to strengthen my team it would be nice to have a few quid especially after the season we've had! I had a very nice Saturday night staying at Portishead with Kate and we went to a very up market night club called the Queens Shilling. It was only after being there a while that l noticed we were the only mixed couple and all the others were of the same sex. I then saw a large man with a dress on with his arms tied behind his back and a sign round his neck . At this point l told Kate that l thought it may be a good idea to leave as it was getting late! I mowed all my lawns beautifully on Friday only to see one of them completely dug up by badgers on the Sunday night. I have ordered all sorts of repellents to try and keep them out but really it's a bit late as they have done so much damage. 'Bend over and do exactly as l say,' she ordered. I shuddered as she pulled on the long rubber gloves and squeezed the thick liquid from the tube. 'OK,' she said,' This is how you do the washing up ....'

The season finished at Sandown on Saturday and all the winners got their trophies for another year. Then yesterday the new season started which means we get one day off between seasons and l think it's crazy. In the old days we used to get June and July off and jockeys,trainers and staff could take their holidays then get ready for the new season which worked a lot better. Now everyone is under so much pressure to get winners that you cannot afford to get left behind and you find horses to run through the summer. Anyway after that moan we had our first runner of the new season yesterday in the very first race of the new season and managed to win it with American Gigolo so l was leading trainer for about half an hour! Our 25 club is going so well that l may have to start another and am thinking of calling it the Hot Tub Club. The members would have full access to my hot tub while watching the days racing and be served drinks by gorgeous women dressed in matching bikinis to that owners colours. We may even have the odd horse in the club as well! My ex once said to me'Now,which whip shall it be today?'she teased,licking her lips.'l don't know,'l said,'l just can't decide between banana and butterscotch.'

Been quite a busy week and I started buying horses for next season at Cheltenham sales last Thursday.We bought a nice horse called Zen Master who finished second in his last bumper at Limerick and will run over hurdles next season before jumping fences the following year.He has been bought for The 25 Club and is the first of four we are buying for the club.
We ran Gowanauthat at Fontwell and he just got beaten a head but ran a cracking race and should pay his way through the summer. On Monday I ran Morney Wing at Warwick and he found the ground a bit quick but still finished a good third so he will go on his holidays now having had a very good season.
We had a very busy day yesterday and I ended up riding out four lots which I have not done for a very long time.If any trainer reads this and is thinking about doing the same thing don't, unless you have got a hot tub and a decent bottle of white wine to help you get over it!
'Are you sure you can take the pain?'she demanded,brandishing her stilettos. 'I think so,' I gulped. 'Here we go,then,' she said,and showed me the receipt.
All a learning curve!

We had a busy time last week getting the yard tidied up for the Lambourn Open Day which is not a bad thing as its a bit like having a Spring clean.
The day went really well and we had a lot of people through the yard and we did some business as well. I think Nicky Henderson probably had a few more people in his yard but I bet he didn't have five women in a hot tub afterwards! Definitely one of the better Open Days we've had!
Had a whole house full of people staying so it was very jolly.
The horses have been running well with Like The Sound finishing second on Sunday and then both Pickamix and Fixed Rate winning on Monday and Tuesday.Its been a very good season for us and I hope to start buying horses for the new season starting at Cheltenham tomorrow.We have had a lot of interest in our new 25 Club and hope to be buying horses for it as from tomorrow.We have a few shares left in it so if you are interested let us know sooner rather than later to avoid disapointment.
My ex and I had the perfect sadomasochistic relationship.I snored all night and she moaned about it all day!

Have been in the hot tub an awful lot lately both entertaining and for medicinal purposes it really does pay its way. In fact I think that anyone who doesn't have one is mad and you don't have to be able to swim to enjoy it!
We had a very jolly lunch in the Queens on Thursday with Andy and Ned McLafferty, Bill Brindle and Paul Meakin which ended up quite a late one! The next day I was driven up to Aintree by Kate who is not only a very good driver but also a very good looking bird . We had a very good lunch and looked round the course.
I ran two horses there American Gigolo who ran a cracker in a Grade 1 novice hurdle and Gowanauthat who sadly got brought down in The Topham but luckily was okay.We were hoping to run Some Kinda Lama on the Saturday but he got balloted out by one which was frustrating as he also got balloted out of Cheltenham!
We watched The National on Saturday which was as always a great spectacle to see and no horses or jockeys hurt for the fifth consecutive year so they must be doing something right.
Have started riding out again this week and I must say I feel pretty good may get my jockeys licence back!
'I am your master,'I commanded, 'You will obey my rules.' She rolled her eyes and just walked out of my shed. That was it - I definitely needed to get a new cat!